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’ I twist the flashlight, covering half with a thumb. ‘Look – now it’s summer – now it’s winter. Now it’s summer – now it’s winter.’ She’s laughing. Christ, sometimes it is so great just to hear someone laughing. ‘Man, I missed having you around,’ she says. ‘I missed being around,’ I nod. And now her lips graze my cheek in a peck. But not quite a peck. Something softer. Something that lingers. ‘So what’s sex like?’ she asks. ‘Pardon?’ ‘I’ve accepted that I’m not getting it – I want to know what it’s like.’ And now I’m laughing. ‘I’m not comfortable with that.’ ‘Why not?’ ‘Because that’s… between me and Crow,’ I say. ‘Crow’s abandoned you,’ she reminds me. The edge of her hand grazes the edge of mine. And stays there. // Crunch. Crunch. The gravel under my sandals. poor child, back already? The Wolf’s huge, shaggy head rises to greet me as I reach the summit. ‘We’re the same age,’ I remind him. perhaps – but I have more poise He falls onto his hindquarters. what is. However, becoming a woman just to get a job? I must be madeven thinking about it. I wondered if I could I deceive them long enoughto get settled in the job, before telling them that I had decided totransition back to male. That might work. I could see the psychiatrist andpretend that I was transitioning, get a prescription from the doctor andmaybe just take a few of the pills (but not many so they would have anylasting effect). The big problem, as I saw it, would be changing my nameand identity. I would have to tell family and friends and I had no ideawhat their attitude would be. I would also need to be dressing as a womanand again I was not sure how that would turn out.I thought back to the school plays in which I had performed female roles.Most people thought I had done well and looked the part, but it was a longtime ago and I had matured since then although I was still quite short,about five foot seven inches."What about clothes?" I thought. I would need a complete wardrobe,.
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